The Way Severus Snape Really is
by Dib-is-My-Love-Affection
Summary: When Sirius went to Dumbledore to ask if he could help him win Sevvie's heart, Dumbledore went full bore... And turned him into a cat! SSxSB


A/N The title says it all, folks! The Way Snape REALLY is! You'll find out just how much Snape actually Cares about the world!  
  
Summary: Sirius Black has been resurected, and Dumbledore offered him a job at Hogwarts! In the middle of the night, he remembered his relationship with Potions Master, Severus Snape!  
  
Disclaimer: I'm afraid I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. If I did, Draco and Harry would be married, Severus and Sirius would own a condo, and that Crabbe and Goyle can be sent to their brutal death. How evil I am!  
  
Pairings: SB/SS, HP/DM annnnd... One hetro I'm afraid, RW/HG :)  
  
Anyway, here it is!

* * *

Proluge  
  
Sirius Black sat on a wooden chair, his feet draping on his desk. His life couldn't be better. He was Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Proving, once and for all, the position wasn't jinxed. He began to reflect on his school years at hogwarts. The one year he and his husband fell in love.  
  
His sixth year, after the Whomping Willow incedent.  
  
Young Sirius Black strode confidently to the Headmaster's office. His dark hair swinging around his youthful face. If anyone would understand his troubles, it would be Albus Worlfrick Brian Dumbledore. He turned a corner, coming to the Gargoyle, blocking the way to his office. Thinking, forever thinking of what the nutty Headmaster could've used as his password this time!  
  
He said the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"Lemon Drops?" he asked, more than said. No dice. "Kit Kat?" again, nothing happened, and the Gargole just leered at him. "Pixie Sticks?" this was getting him nowhere. Mind games with stone gargoyles usually down't turn out right. "Fizzing Whisbees?" he asked helplessly. The Gargoyle wasn't making it any easier.  
  
Just as he was about to turn the corner and give up, the man he was trying to find came into sight at the other end of the corridor.  
  
"Ahh! Albus!" Sirius started, his anger at the Gargoyle forgotten. "Could I have a few minutes for you time?"  
  
Dumbledore's eyes lit up again. "Of course, Sirius! Just, say the password and go on in."  
  
Sirius turned back to the Gargoyle. He then turned back to Dumbledore.  
  
"I don't... Know the password..."  
  
Dumbledore grinned. "I see..." he himself then turned to the Gargoyle, and said something no one would have guessed in tweny four hours.  
  
'Feline'. Why did that strike a nerve in Sirius? Hmmm... Well, anyways. He entered Dumbledore's office, now that he could get IN it...  
  
"So, Sirius, dear boy, what did you need to talk to me about?" that mischevious twinkle was in his eye again. Kind of reminded him of when his own eyes looked just like that... Right before he had the poor Slytherin, Severus Snape latherd in pink glitter-spray. Although the picture of Severus in pink glitter spray was rather alluring... Especially after a quidditch game, with only a towel at his waist... Almost every inch of tantalizing pale skin was tinted pink... ((A/N Hehe... Drool))  
  
His eyes glazed over at the thought, and Dumbledore grinned.  
  
"Sirius? Wake up! You wanted to speak to me, remember?"  
  
Sirius blinked, the glaze leaving his eyes almost immediately. "Oh... Yes... Ahem... Well, anyways. Yeah. Well... I um... Have er... Been having these odd fantasies lately..."  
  
Dumbledore cut in.  
  
"About a certain Slytherin?" he asked. How does the old giezer do it?! Sirius hadn't told anybody, espescially not Severus Snape himself! Sirius stared wide eyed at the white haired man.  
  
"How do you-?"  
  
Dumbledore smiled at him, putting up a finger to stop his blubbering speech.  
  
"It takes one to know one." He answered, still smiling that odd smile he smiled, which meant, to put it clearly, 'I know something you don't!' Ughh. Sirius sighed, then said quietly,  
  
"He doesn't know, does he?"  
  
Dumbledore shook his head. "Some of the other Professors do though..." Sirius glared.  
  
"I can't keep secrets!" Dumbledore said, giving a fake huff.  
  
"How did you know the secret in the first place?!"  
  
The seventeen year old boy muttered, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. When he received no answer, and asked, "Well, can you help me out a bit?"  
  
Dumbledore thought. "I have the perfect plan." He said finally. Sirius sighed. He'd gotten himself on another one of Dumbledore's cooky plans. Oh Gawd... Well, it was the last day of term. It couldn't go too badly.  
  
About ten minutes later, he was heading out through the corridors again. Dumbledore had a plan. And what a plan it would be!  
  
Chapter One: Sheer Imprisonment  
  
When Dumbledore said he wasn't allowed to return to the Gryffindor Tower that evening, Sirius Black was enraged. Come to think of it, he had burst out with,  
  
"Where am I supposed to go then?! Become a hobo at a muggle airport?!"  
  
Dumbledore then told him he had reserved a room at the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius had gone with a huff, not needing to pack, as Dumbledore already had the houselves do it.  
  
As he entered his rooms, he wondered just was the old Coot was up to. Why, oh why did Sirius ever ask him for help! Aghh...  
  
That night, Sirus fell into a fitful sleep. With much tossing and turning. His dreams, were of terrible things.  
  
Of murders, and blood, stabs and horror.

* * *

But he managed through it all, and the next morning, he awoke, sweaty, and with a feeling of being imprisioned in his gut. Funny... He could smell better than he could before. Heh. Maybe it was just him. Wait... Instead of just a wet mop of his head, his whole body felt heavy...  
  
He looked down at himself, and screamed.  
  
"Yyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwww!!"  
  
Well, maybe meowed is more like it.  
  
He was covered in pitch black fur! Black furry fur! Short haired though. He had small paws, and must have shrunken when he was sleeping... He was a cat!  
  
'I'm a bloody... I'm a bloody cat... A furry... Bloody cat..."  
  
But, to the untrained ear, it sounded like, "Fow, meerrrowww... hisssssss ack meeerrroooww meeerrowwww hissssss..."  
  
He leapt off the bed, tumbling down upon the covers that had been strewn across the floor. His frantic search was somewhat blurred. Not too bad though, seeing as how cats see better at night.  
  
He ran on his cat pads to the door, scratching at it with his newfound claws. He felt... imprisoned in a motel room.  
  
Fow about two hours, he sat there, yowling at the wall, desperatly wanting to be let out. Finally, someone barged in... With a broom... It was Tom! He looked around at the frightened cat, yelling, "Shoo! Animals don't belong in here! Out! Out!" Sirius gladly fled from the room, racing down the hall on his kitty-cat paws, a pick broom following his movements.  
  
He was stopped by a door, and a pair of boots. There was a deep baritone that spoke at him.  
  
"Are you lost there, kitty?" Sirius Black just about fainted. That voice, belonged to Severus Snape, Slytherin head boy at Hogwarts. His hair falling around his face as he looked don at the black kitten. At that moment, Sirius realized his hair wasn't greasy, just inky, and it smelled of daisies. And what he just said, wasn't caniving as it usually was. It was... Sweet?  
  
"Severus! You won't believe what happened! I'm a bloody cat!"  
  
'Seeessuus! Meeeerrooooooow row, feits fits hissssss ack meeeeerrroooooww!'  
  
Severus smiled down at him. "Well, you're talkitive, aren't you?"  
  
Sirius blinked. Maybe Severus couldn't hear him. He reapeted what he had said.  
  
"Dear me! You do talk a lot." He reached down, picking Sirius up under his furry arms, to observe his face, Severus held him up with on hand, running a finger across his neck, searching for a tag or collar. Sirius shook his head, unsure of what was happening.  
  
"You must not have a home." He said, looking around the room, for someone who may run up to him and ask if he had seen a little grey cat somewhere.  
  
"I'm gonna take you home. Until your owner comes by. Or, if he or she doesn't, then I guess I'll keep you." He nuzzled the small cat with his nose which Sirius found not to be greasy at all. He then held him against his chest, and went out into the bar, where Tom glared at him.  
  
"Snape! That was your cat?!"  
  
Snape in question raised an inky eyebrow. "No. It ran down the hall to get away from your insistant broom waving. It didn't have a collar, so I'm going to take him home until the owner comes.  
  
Tom glared, then nodded, before giving Severus the price of his stay. He handed over the gold, then wandered out of the pub, Sirius held tightly against him in one arm, (His dream), and his bags in the other.  
  
All Sirius could think about, was,  
  
Ohmy god... I'm in his arm... OhmyGod... Hehe... He smells like daisies... Heh...

* * *

Whithin little time, Snape had gotten Sirius to his so called 'home'. It was not the werewold would expect from Severus Snape. It was a nice little cottage. No droopy mansion with creepy gargoyles on the stone powells that held up a gate. Nope. It was a nice little cottage, with a little white picket fence out front.  
  
Severus smiled down at Sirius, making his heart stop as his slender cat face turned up to the man. He looked back up to push open the small fence with his leg, then push it back in, the latch clicking.  
  
Sirius looked around the nice little yard. There were daisies planted along the little walkway they were on now, little flower boxes under the window, and nicely trimmed grass everywhere. This was definetly not what the youthful Sirius Black was expecting from Severus Snape.  
  
He dropped his bags at the door, fishing a pair or muggle keys out of his pocket, then unlocking the door. He set Sirius down on the doorstep, hoping that he would head on in. The furry ball on the doorstep cocked his head up at him, not understand the way a cat would think.  
  
Severus gave the cat one last look, before he pulled his bags in, holding the door open to the black cat. Sirius trotted in, his tail held high, alithough he didn't realize it.  
  
"Aren't you aristocratic?" Severus joked with the cat, closing the door, and leaning down to stroke the cat's head. Other than the fact that that felt gooood... He also realized, that Severus Snape was touching his head. Hmm... It's a start.  
  
Before he knew it, Severus's had had travelled acrossed his back. So innocent. But to Sirius... Heh... You know. He rubbed up against the Slytherin's slender legs, purring happily. It felt good as well as... Heh... You know!  
  
Severus's deep voice pulled him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Are you hungry kitty?" Sirius looked up. As soon as that was mentioned, a small rumbling came from the small animal's stomache. Severus smiled. "Well, Okay then!"  
  
He got up, and lead the way to what must have been a small kitchen. There were pots and pans levatating above the island in the middle of the room, a small muggle stove, a refridgerator, drawers, and silverware layed neatly on the table, along with a plate. Poor Sev, must not get company often.  
  
He searched through his upper cabinet, searching for anything labled, 'Chicken of the Sea'. He was getting rather frustrated, and threw his arms in the air.  
  
"Fine!" he barked at the unsuspecting cabinet. He then began searching in the muggle fridge, looking for anything a cat would be able to eat without getting sick. Sirius walked over to Severus, standing up on his back paws, kneading Severus's thigh.  
  
Severus looked down, giving the cat a sad look.  
  
"Sorry, Buddy, nothing up here for kitties!" he muttered sadly, crouching by the black kitten.  
  
"Anything for humans disguised as cats?" he muttered sadly, but it came out as,  
  
'Merow row brow meeeeeow.'  
  
Severus gave him a sympathetic look.  
  
"Sorry. When I get to the stores, I'll get you some tuna. How does that sound?" Sirius sighed, and pawed at Severus's thigh again. Closer. To the... Center...

* * *

Please, R&R, and I am going to beg... pleeaaase beta?


End file.
